Thankful: Day 9

I am thankful for my support system. I cannot express how much I appreciate the words of encouragement from friends new and old, near and far. Hugs all around.

My grandpa is resting in peace tonight

I got the call at work. My mom called around 215 to tell me that my grandpa had passed away.

She said that he'd finally been moved into the hospice yesterday, late afternoon. He hadn't been talking since then. My grandma spent the night with him- a first since he was admitted to the hospital over a month and a half ago. My grandma and my mom were there with him this afternoon. She said he took a breath, closed his eyes, and just didn't breath again.

I'm so glad that he's truly at peace. But I just can't believe that he's really gone.

I told Abby while we were making dinner. We'd just talked, two days ago, about our visit to Orlando, and seeing Great-Grandpa in the hospital. I'd told her that he was still feeling bad, and we talked about making a "Feel Well" card, as she called it. I told her tonight that he got more sick, and the doctors couldn't make him better, and he died. Her response was "Oh! ... Now Great-grandma has to live alone? She'll be lonely!" I asked it she'd like to make a card for Great-grandma, to cheer her up... and she said "Oh- and a feel well card too?" I had to take a breath... and told her that Great-grandpa wasn't going to feel well again... because he wasn't alive anymore. She frowned and said "Oh, I forgot." She made a pretty card for great-grandma. I asked her what she wanted it to say- I wrote out the words on a paper so she could copy them. This is what she wrote: "I love you. I hope you are happy, but I know you might feel sad. Love, Abby" <3

Thankful: Day 8

I am thankful that the big strong truck that was 2 cars ahead of me was the one to hit that deer this morning, instead of me in my little plastic toyota. :(

Thankful: Day 7

I am thankful for my job. In more ways that one, actually. 1. I'm thankful that I *HAVE* a job, and that it's not in danger of disappearing any time soon. 2. I am thankful for the students I work with. I love them. They certainly frustrate me on occassion (more often than usualy, lately, to tell you the truth), but they make me smile every day.

Thankful: Day6

I am thankful for telephones. Even though there are times when I *hate* them... I don't know how I'd survive living 8 hours from my family otherwise. <3

Latest news

Grandpa still hasn't been moved to the Hospice. Apparently there was a glitch in the paperwork, and they're going to aim for tomorrow (Monday). The doctors now want to try another procedure first, to make him more comfortable- they want to try to drain some of the fluid from around his lungs. Since this requires anesthesia (that they were previously not wanting to use), they're going to go ahead and insert another feeding tube- this time through his stomach.

While I was talking to mom, she mentioned that Grandma said, when the time comes, she wants to bury Grandpa in the Winnie-the-Pooh necktie that I gave him for Christmas when I was 15.

I cried.

Thankful: Day 5

Today, I am thankful for my family- of the immediate variety. I have a husband who is more supportive than I deserve. Even when I feel like a total screw up, he's still right there. I have a 4 year old who seems to have passed through the needy-new-sibling phase and is now my positive attitude, great helper, mature beyond her years girl. :) And there's my baby boy... What can I say? A grin and a giggle from my little chunker just melts my heart. <3 *sigh*

...I'd add a family picture here- but we don't have one of all 4 of us! ACK! Must get on that!!

Thankful: Day 4

I am thankful for banana pudding.

That's all I can muster right now. It can be the little things, sometimes, right?

Update...

I got a late night text from my brother- saying that Grandpa was awake and talking last night.

I hate to say it, but I want to tell him not to get his hopes up. Isn't it common to have some "last minute lucidity" before passing? Maybe I've just watched too many sappy movies?

*sigh* What a roller coaster.

:(

Found out this afternoon that Grandpa was moved to Hospice care.

Thankful: Day 3

I am thankful for trusting my instincts. As a mother, I think that following your gut feeling is extremely important.

The situation most in the forefront of my mind, though, is my taking the kids to Orlando recently. I felt a need to be there- and I'm so glad we went. I am much more at peace with the current situation than I would be otherwise.

News

I got a phone call this evening that my grandpa has taken a turn for the worse. I feel bad, because when I heard earlier this week that he had MRSA, I was mostly concerned for my two children who were in the room with him the day before the test results were returned. Now I learn that he has been less responsive this week, and that his kidneys are shutting down. My grandma has been given power of attorney and they are looking into hospice.

I can't put into words how glad I am we visited last weekend. I just had the feeling that we needed to. And because I followed that gut feeling, I was able to tell my grandpa how much I love him. He was able to see Abby one more time, and meet his beautiful great grandson.

My brother has promised updates. In the meantime, I wait. And worry. :(

Thankful: Day 2

I am thankful for the kindness of friends and strangers.

The smile or kind word of a friend goes such a long way to brightening the day. :) And as for strangers- last night, not one- not two- but THREE strangers helped me get my two kids, big diaper bag, and huge umbrella into Chic-Fil-A in the rain. :) Thanks, gentlemen! <3

Thankful

For whatever reason (family stress, work stress, random emotional turmoil), the past few weeks have been rough for me. My husband and friends have been super-supportive... but it hasn't changed the fact that I just feel blah.

A friend of mine made a challenge on Facebook- that I accepted and would like to both challenge in turn- and record here on the blog. :)

The challenge is this: Each day, from now until Thanksgiving, share a new something for which you are thankful- not repeating any...

Acknowledging my need to focus on the positive, here I am. :)

Day 1: I am thankful for that sweet smile my baby boy makes as he's falling asleep. <3

Family

I'll never forget a discussion I had with the owner of a women's consignment shop in Longwood, Florida, many years ago. I'd shopped there since I was a teenager who needed a week's worth of "professional attire" for a leadership forum in high school... and when we had this discussion, I was a college student embarking on my student teaching... She asked what my plans were, and when I told her that I planned to move to Georgia and get a teaching job in Atlanta, she said the following: "It may seem fun to live far away and on your own now, but you'll move back when you have kids."

I've thought a lot about her comment over the years. When I was dating Chas and we moved in together... one step further from "moving back". When I had Abby... another step. When we bought our home... another step. When Chas got his job at CNN... another step. I enjoy living where we do, and love my life here. I have no immediate plans to move, and even if we did, it's extremely unlikely that it would be to Florida.
Believe it or not, the thing that is making it harder for me to be far away is not the fact that I have two young children and my mom is in another state- it's the other end of the spectrum, actually. The fact that my grandma and grandpa are not doing well... that one of them is in the hospital- with no immediate plans of release- and the other is settling into an assisted living facility- it breaks my heart. Last weekend, I was able to visit. They're OK. They're being taken care of. But I wish I could be there. I love them both with all my heart and would be by their sides if I could. I'm glad I was there recently and told them how I feel, because if they ever doubted my love, it would kill me.

Halloween

I love Halloween. Growing up, I often celebrated my birthday along with the holiday, since they're only 6 days apart. I've enjoyed it even more since having Abby, and was excited for Alex's first Halloween. :)


Except for Abby's first Halloween (she wore a Dragonfly costume that I got at the local children's boutique- and slept straight through the evening!), I've made her costume each year.

This year was no exception- she has been in love with Wizard of Oz, so I made her a Dorothy costume, and a scarecrow costume for Alex. Aren't they precious??!