I've been going strong for two+ weeks now (started on the 5th, I think?) Stayed on track food wise, been exercising at the gym or at home (Biggest Loser on the Wii Fit KILLED my thigh muscles yesterday!), and overall doing pretty well. I can't even describe the difference it makes having my hubby on board this time. He went to the gym today! So proud of him. :o)
I use Sparkpeople.com to track my progress, and am currently reading "The Spark" (book by the founder- available in Kindle lending library!). Going to work on making myself an inspiration wall (poster? Something) as is mentioned in the book. I think it would be great to have that visual. :)
Hope all my readers (vast numbers of you that there are) are doing well!! :)
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Starting Fresh. Again.
It all starts with, of all things, Harry Potter.
Abby (who just turned 7), read the entire Harry Potter series- all 7 books- this past year. She has been begging to go to "Harry Potter World" (AKA 'The Wizarding World of Harry Potter' at Universal Studios Orlando)- and since we visit family in Orlando regularly, it was not out of the question. I told her that she and I could go on our next visit to Orlando.
And so we did.
In preparation, I did some research. I know I'm a big girl. Ok, I'm obese. Very much so. And roller coasters are definitely something that worried me- because of my size. So I googled. It seems that many people consider Universal, and the WWOHP specifically, to be "sizest". Apparently there have been quite a few folks who didn't fit in the rides. This made me nervous, but I was glad to have the information.
I was thankful that my brother was able to go with us.
The three of us headed for Universal, and went straight for Hogwarts Castle. Stood in line for an hour and a half. Upon entering the boarding area, two attendants politely asked me to try out the sample seat "so they could ensure me a comfortable ride". Yep, no go. The thing that comes down over your head would not latch at all. My brother looked bewildered, but I said thank you, told Abby to have fun riding with Christopher, and I headed for the waiting spot at the end of the ride.
I was ok- it really was a low key transaction, no big public humiliation like some of the folks online claimed- until:
1) I realized that the whole time I was back there, NO ONE ELSE was rejected.
2) Abby got off the ride with her face covered in tears. She'd been terrified. :(
That was a big wakeup call. You know- a year or so ago, I made a list of "reasons I should get healthy"- and riding coasters with my kids was one... But I hadn't been faced with the actuality.
SOOO....
I started this week by planning out our family menus and shopping for healthy food. I've been logging on Sparkpeople.com all week, and two days ago, I joined a little gym near our house. So far I've gone twice and worked out hard. I have a (free) appointment with a personal trainer on Saturday, too.
No joke. This is for real. I'm done with this body and all that comes with it- time for transformation.
Abby (who just turned 7), read the entire Harry Potter series- all 7 books- this past year. She has been begging to go to "Harry Potter World" (AKA 'The Wizarding World of Harry Potter' at Universal Studios Orlando)- and since we visit family in Orlando regularly, it was not out of the question. I told her that she and I could go on our next visit to Orlando.
And so we did.
In preparation, I did some research. I know I'm a big girl. Ok, I'm obese. Very much so. And roller coasters are definitely something that worried me- because of my size. So I googled. It seems that many people consider Universal, and the WWOHP specifically, to be "sizest". Apparently there have been quite a few folks who didn't fit in the rides. This made me nervous, but I was glad to have the information.
I was thankful that my brother was able to go with us.
The three of us headed for Universal, and went straight for Hogwarts Castle. Stood in line for an hour and a half. Upon entering the boarding area, two attendants politely asked me to try out the sample seat "so they could ensure me a comfortable ride". Yep, no go. The thing that comes down over your head would not latch at all. My brother looked bewildered, but I said thank you, told Abby to have fun riding with Christopher, and I headed for the waiting spot at the end of the ride.
I was ok- it really was a low key transaction, no big public humiliation like some of the folks online claimed- until:
1) I realized that the whole time I was back there, NO ONE ELSE was rejected.
2) Abby got off the ride with her face covered in tears. She'd been terrified. :(
That was a big wakeup call. You know- a year or so ago, I made a list of "reasons I should get healthy"- and riding coasters with my kids was one... But I hadn't been faced with the actuality.
SOOO....
I started this week by planning out our family menus and shopping for healthy food. I've been logging on Sparkpeople.com all week, and two days ago, I joined a little gym near our house. So far I've gone twice and worked out hard. I have a (free) appointment with a personal trainer on Saturday, too.
No joke. This is for real. I'm done with this body and all that comes with it- time for transformation.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Bail hearing & Birthday parties
Babymama had a bail reduction hearing on Friday. Her bail was reduced to a FIFTH of the original (from 100,000 to 20,000)... but there's no one to put up the collateral. So she's still there.
She called Saturday and we had a long chat about how terrible it all is, with me being as sypathetic as possible.
Sunday afternoon we got friends together at the park for a birthday party for Ashton. It was perfect. :o)
[Will add pictures later.]
**UPDATE**
Babymama was released on bond (family found a bail bondsman that didn't require collateral and accepted HALF of the actual bail amount). She asked me to return him home, and since I had no legal standing to do otherwise, I did. Her trial is July 30th. We shall see what happens.
**UPDATE 2**
Medical examiner's report came back stating that Jonathan died of an acute heart attack.
**UPDATE 3**
Babymama was granted a continuance, and her trial has been postponed until NOVEMBER.
She called Saturday and we had a long chat about how terrible it all is, with me being as sypathetic as possible.
Sunday afternoon we got friends together at the park for a birthday party for Ashton. It was perfect. :o)
[Will add pictures later.]
**UPDATE**
Babymama was released on bond (family found a bail bondsman that didn't require collateral and accepted HALF of the actual bail amount). She asked me to return him home, and since I had no legal standing to do otherwise, I did. Her trial is July 30th. We shall see what happens.
**UPDATE 2**
Medical examiner's report came back stating that Jonathan died of an acute heart attack.
**UPDATE 3**
Babymama was granted a continuance, and her trial has been postponed until NOVEMBER.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Nephew turns one.
Today is my nephew's first birthday.
He is such a sweet, happy boy.
I feel blessed to have him in my home. <3
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
One small step for us, one giant leap for... well, you get the idea...
So I went to Orlando and visited the jail. Baby-mama had got my package (paperwork and a photo). She was in a great mood because her public defender told her she'd be getting out that day or the next- or next week at the very latest (IF the motion gets approved/ bail reduced/ etc. LOTS of "ifs"). She said it would be fine for me to bring him home to take care of him in the meantime. I can't tell you what a relief that is!!
Still have to tackle the paperwork hurdle- which I think will be more easily tackled after her hearing next week...
It was REALLY hard on my mom. She didn't expect her to say yes. She said it's what is best, and it's what "we" wanted for the long term... she just didn't expect it to really happen.
So, for now, we are a household of FIVE! <3
Still have to tackle the paperwork hurdle- which I think will be more easily tackled after her hearing next week...
It was REALLY hard on my mom. She didn't expect her to say yes. She said it's what is best, and it's what "we" wanted for the long term... she just didn't expect it to really happen.
So, for now, we are a household of FIVE! <3
Saturday, April 21, 2012
When it rains it pours.
My mom had hip replacement surgery a few months ago. On Friday, it popped out of socket. She had to have surgery and is starting her rehab from scratch. She is unable to chase a toddler.
Going to Orlando this week to help babymama understand that either she consents to me taking him- or Dept of Children and Families will.
:( Please pray.
Going to Orlando this week to help babymama understand that either she consents to me taking him- or Dept of Children and Families will.
:( Please pray.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Life turned upside down.
The past month and a half have been out of this world.
On Sunday, March 11th, my mom called to tell me that my brother Jonathan passed away. He had recently moved "home" from Massachusetts and broken up with his girlfriend/baby-mama, and was living with our Grandma. My grandma's nurse had weekends off, so my brother served as her caregiver on those days. Saturday night, he'd been changing all the clocks back (for daylight savings time) when she went to bed. She slept all night, and when she woke up in the morning, she found him lying on the floor in the living room. He'd been dead for hours. He had untreated medical conditions (Hashimoto's disease and possible COPD), and was known to use drugs, though we don't know what/when/how much. His cause of death has yet to be determined.
The memorial was held the following week. Chas, the kids, and I went down and stayed with my mom. It was surreal. I know my grieving process has been different from my mom, dad, and brother- I felt like I lost him when they moved to Massachusetts. When he'd admitted to me that he'd participated in drug ring- cashing in fraudulant prescriptions, and that they were running from the law. They left for Massachusetts the day before Thanksgiving. I begged for him to leave the baby with me. I told him- if they got caught, Ashton would be in foster care- just leave him with me until things are sorted out. He said they wouldn't get in trouble. I cried and cried. I felt like I lost him/them that day. They lived in Massachusetts for 4 months before coming home. During that time, neither of them had a job - and they lived in the basement of a relative of babymama's.
I never met my nephew until after my brother passed away. I held him for the first time at the memorial service. He was 10 months old.
After Jonathan passed, my mom made an arrangement with baby-mama. Mom and Michael would keep Ashton every Tuesday. It would be "grandma & grandpa time". Well, on the 20th, he came for his first stay. He spent the night, and on Wednesday, my mom called and called to find out when to take him home. No answer. She found out later that there'd been a drug raid that morning. Babymama, her husband, her sister, and all their friends had been arrested on drug charges. The charges they thought they'd escaped.
The Department of Children & Families placed each of babymama's other children (they were all there when the house was raided) with a member of their paternal family (4 kids, 4 different daddies). One of the grandmas has permanent guardianship of the boy. THe others are with family members in "temporary custody"... My nephew was with my mom, they deemed that a safe arrangement, and they left him there. He was not considered a "placement" or anything- just left in the place where he was...
Babymama has been in jail for a month now. She hasn't signed any papers granting my mom legal rights/responsibilities to Ashton. He got sick, and my mom begged the doctor to see him- legally, he should only have been seen if accompanied by a guardian. Thankfully, the doctor prescribed the antibiotics for his double ear infection.
At this point, babymama has gotten an "Emergency Bail Reduction Hearing" scheduled- on the grounds that "there is no one to care for" her child. I'd like to call BS on that.
We consulted a lawyer who said that Children & Families could help- they could file a dependency action and we could get him placed with my mom or me (hopefully me- my mom has trouble keeping up with a toddler!). However, the social worker has only informed my mom that if she cannot care for him, he'll be put in foster care, even if the only thing hindering her from caring for him fully is a signature. :(
It doesn't help that there are other factors as well. Babymama still married- she put husband's name on the birth certificate, but gave the baby my brother's last name. I live in a separate state- causes problems. Retainer for the lawyer is five THOUSAND dollars!
This has been the most sad, stressful, frustrating, headache-inducing, heart-wrenching thing I've even been through. And it's far from over.
Through all this, as you might imagine, I've relapsed into emotional eating. I've stuffed myself sick. Many times. As a result, I've regained all I lost earlier this year, and am currently several pounds over my 2012 starting weight. I hate it. But I'm so tense and upset- that I continue to binge. I'm sad- and scared- the thought of that baby boy going to a stranger makes me sick.
Please be thinking of him. Me. Us.
On Sunday, March 11th, my mom called to tell me that my brother Jonathan passed away. He had recently moved "home" from Massachusetts and broken up with his girlfriend/baby-mama, and was living with our Grandma. My grandma's nurse had weekends off, so my brother served as her caregiver on those days. Saturday night, he'd been changing all the clocks back (for daylight savings time) when she went to bed. She slept all night, and when she woke up in the morning, she found him lying on the floor in the living room. He'd been dead for hours. He had untreated medical conditions (Hashimoto's disease and possible COPD), and was known to use drugs, though we don't know what/when/how much. His cause of death has yet to be determined.
The memorial was held the following week. Chas, the kids, and I went down and stayed with my mom. It was surreal. I know my grieving process has been different from my mom, dad, and brother- I felt like I lost him when they moved to Massachusetts. When he'd admitted to me that he'd participated in drug ring- cashing in fraudulant prescriptions, and that they were running from the law. They left for Massachusetts the day before Thanksgiving. I begged for him to leave the baby with me. I told him- if they got caught, Ashton would be in foster care- just leave him with me until things are sorted out. He said they wouldn't get in trouble. I cried and cried. I felt like I lost him/them that day. They lived in Massachusetts for 4 months before coming home. During that time, neither of them had a job - and they lived in the basement of a relative of babymama's.
I never met my nephew until after my brother passed away. I held him for the first time at the memorial service. He was 10 months old.
After Jonathan passed, my mom made an arrangement with baby-mama. Mom and Michael would keep Ashton every Tuesday. It would be "grandma & grandpa time". Well, on the 20th, he came for his first stay. He spent the night, and on Wednesday, my mom called and called to find out when to take him home. No answer. She found out later that there'd been a drug raid that morning. Babymama, her husband, her sister, and all their friends had been arrested on drug charges. The charges they thought they'd escaped.
The Department of Children & Families placed each of babymama's other children (they were all there when the house was raided) with a member of their paternal family (4 kids, 4 different daddies). One of the grandmas has permanent guardianship of the boy. THe others are with family members in "temporary custody"... My nephew was with my mom, they deemed that a safe arrangement, and they left him there. He was not considered a "placement" or anything- just left in the place where he was...
Babymama has been in jail for a month now. She hasn't signed any papers granting my mom legal rights/responsibilities to Ashton. He got sick, and my mom begged the doctor to see him- legally, he should only have been seen if accompanied by a guardian. Thankfully, the doctor prescribed the antibiotics for his double ear infection.
At this point, babymama has gotten an "Emergency Bail Reduction Hearing" scheduled- on the grounds that "there is no one to care for" her child. I'd like to call BS on that.
We consulted a lawyer who said that Children & Families could help- they could file a dependency action and we could get him placed with my mom or me (hopefully me- my mom has trouble keeping up with a toddler!). However, the social worker has only informed my mom that if she cannot care for him, he'll be put in foster care, even if the only thing hindering her from caring for him fully is a signature. :(
It doesn't help that there are other factors as well. Babymama still married- she put husband's name on the birth certificate, but gave the baby my brother's last name. I live in a separate state- causes problems. Retainer for the lawyer is five THOUSAND dollars!
This has been the most sad, stressful, frustrating, headache-inducing, heart-wrenching thing I've even been through. And it's far from over.
Through all this, as you might imagine, I've relapsed into emotional eating. I've stuffed myself sick. Many times. As a result, I've regained all I lost earlier this year, and am currently several pounds over my 2012 starting weight. I hate it. But I'm so tense and upset- that I continue to binge. I'm sad- and scared- the thought of that baby boy going to a stranger makes me sick.
Please be thinking of him. Me. Us.
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